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"Imput," "forte" ...
The word "vice" in "vice versa" is not pronounced "vis-uh."
"Vice versa" is Latin for "order reversed;" for example, "I sometimes chase my cat around the room, and vice versa" means "I sometimes chase my cat around the room, and the cat sometimes chases me." People sometimes pronounce the "vice" as though it were a two-syllable word rhyming with "versa," as in "vis-uh vers-uh," which is incorrect, at least in modern pronounciation. (It's been recently pointed out to me that the original Latin would probably have been pronounced 'Wi-ke Wer-sa' or 'Vi-che Ver-sa,' rather than as it's typically pronounced today 'Vise Ver-sa'--though in no case is 'Vis-uh' correct.)
It's "input," not "imput."
"Input" is what you feed into a system--you offer someone your input, you feed input into a computer program. It literally comes from "something you put in." More and more often, people are spelling it "imput," particularly online; this points, I think, to an error in pronunciation.
The word forte is most properly pronounced "fort," not "for-TE" or "for-TAY"
"Forte" derives from the French "fort," meaning "strong." A person's "forte" is his strongest talent, as in "running a business is Bill's forte." It's often pronounced as two syllables, "for-TAY," in the United States, though this is not technically correct; that pronunciation would be more correct if the word had derived from Italian, not French.
Note: Apparently, there is some debate about the proper pronunciation of this word. My references list "fort" as the correct pronunciation, but the Merriam-Webster online reference has this to say:
we have a word derived from French that in its "strong point" sense has no entirely satisfactory pronunciation. Usage writers have denigrated \'for-"tA\ and \'for-tE\ because they reflect the influence of the Italian-derived "forte." Their recommended pronunciation \'fort\, however, does not exactly reflect French either: the French would write the word "le fort" and would rhyme it with English "for." So you can take your choice, knowing that someone somewhere will dislike whichever variant you choose.
It's "espresso," not "expresso."
There is no hard "K" sound in the name of the popular coffee beverage, legions of Starbucks cashiers to the contrary.

"Its" and "it's," "you're" and "your," ...
"You're" vs "your," "they're" vs "there" and "their"
If a pronoun has an apostrophe in it, it's a contraction. "You're" means "you are," always. "Your" means "belonging to you."
The same is true of "they're" and "their." "They're" has an apostrophe; it is a contraction. It means "they are." "Their" means "belonging to them." "There" means "somewhere that is not here."
"Its" and "it's"
This is probably the single most common grammar mistake on earth. People get confused about this one because they remember a rule from their childhood days: possessive nouns get an apostrophe. "That is Bob's car." "That is the horse's barn."
Problem is, the word "it" is not a noun. It's a pronoun! Pronouns never, ever, ever get an apostrophe to indicate possession. Think about it: You don't say "mi'ne" or "hi's" or "her's"--and you don't say "your's" or "it's" to indicate possession.
"It's" means "it is" or "it has." If you get confused, take out "it's" and put in "it is." If the sentence makes no sense, don't use the apostrophe.

"A group of people is going to the movies," "a bunch of marbles is on the floor" ...
The subject of a sentence and the verb of a sentence must agree with one another: "A person is smart, people are dumb, stupid panicky animals." This can get a little complicated, though, when there are prepositional phrases between the subject and the verb: "A bunch of people spells trouble."
The subject of a sentence is never found in a prepositional phrase; if a noun appears after a word like of, the one thing you can be sure of is that it's not the subject. Collective nouns such as "group" and "bunch" and "pile" are singular, not plural; the plural versions are groups, bunches, and piles. So you would say "A group is going" or "Two groups are going."
When a prepositional phrase follows the subject, the verb must still agree with the subject, not the prepositional phrase. So you would say "A group of people is going to the movies," not "a group of people are going to the movies"--the phrase 'of people' is a prepositional phrase, and is not the subject of the sentence.
On a similar note, the proper first-person pronouns used as objects of prepositions and active verbs are "me" and "us," not "I" and "we." For example, "can you give Tommy and me a ride to the store" is correct; "can you give Tommy and I a ride to the store" is not. When you remove Tommy from the equation, this becomes easier to see; you would say "Can you give me a ride" but never "Can you give I a ride" or "Can you give myself a ride."

"Orientate," "preventative," ...
These are errors which occur when someone attempts to add prefixes or suffixes to a word inappropriately, resulting in an awkward or incorrect construction.
It's "administer," not "administrate."
When you supervise something, or when you apply something or dispense something, you are "administering" that thing, not "administrating" that thing. You would correctly say "Bob will administer bandages and aspirin," not "Bob will administrate bandages and aspirin." (Some references are beginning to recognize "administrate" as an acceptable, but less preferred, alternative.)
It's "preventive," not "preventative."
Something which is designed to prevent something else from happening is a preventive measure, as in "aspirin can act as preventive medicine for heart attacks."
It's "orient," not "orientate."
When you have your bearings, you are properly "oriented." The process of becoming oriented is called "orientation," but if you are giving something or someone its bearings, you are orienting it, not orientating it.
It's "regardless," not "irregardless."
This one is a bit confusing, because "irrespective" is the correct form of "not respective" (as in "all employees receive the same vacation benefits irrespective of their seniority"), but the correct form of "without regard to" is "regardless," not "irregardless."
It's "empathic," not "empathetic."
"Empathy" is the ability to understand and identify with another person's feelings. A person who has a high degree of empathy is a person who is good at understanding the feelings of other people, and is said to be "empathic."

"I couldn't care less," "nothing fazes me," ...
These are errors which occur because two words may be confused, or because someone has misstated a common expression and hasn't really thought about it. Some of these may involve soundalike errors as well. For example:
"Exacerbate" and "exasperate."
These two words are pronounced differently, but often confused in writing. "Exacerbate" is pronounced like "eg-ZA-ser-bate" and means "to make worse," as in "skydiving may exacerbate a torn ligament" or "shooting people may exacerbate hostilities." On the other hand, "exasperate," which is pronounced "eg-ZAS-peh-rate," means "to irritate or annoy," as in "sitting in traffic really exasperates me."
It's "bated breath," not "baited breath."
The word "bated" is archaic, and almost never used any more. It's a derivation of "abated," which meaned "lessened."
To have "bated breath" means to be holding one's breath (literally, one's breathing has been abated), because of some emotion such as fear or anticipation. "I had bated breath" is the equivalent of saying "I held my breath." "I had baited breath," on the other hand, means "my breath smells like bait," which is kind of nasty.
"Dominant" and "dominate."
These two words are often confused, but they're entirely different parts of speech. "Dominant" is an adjective ("The pack is led by the dominant male") or, in the BDSM subculture, a noun (a "dominant" is a person who assumes the controlling role in erotic power exchange). "Dominate" is a verb that means to exert control over; "The dominant male in the wolf pack dominates the other wolves."
When speaking of agreement, it's "jibe," not "jive."
To "jibe" means to agree, as in His account of the crime did not jibe with the other eyewitness accounts. "Jive" is a style of dance.
"Literally" means "actually."
Something is literally true if it is actually true; "literally" is the opposite of "metaphorically" or "figuratively." So if you say "I am so happy I am literally walking on air," what you mean is you are so happy that your body is now violating the law of gravity and your feet are no longer in contact with the ground.
Many people say "literally" when they mean "figuratively." If you are hungry, but you are not in the hospital being treated for malnourishment, you are not "literally starving."
One thing can not be "more unique" than another, or "very unique."
"Unique" means "one of a kind." It's based on the Latin "unus," meaning "one." Something can not be "very one-of-a-kind" or "more one-of-a-kind" than another; the word "unique" should not be used with modifiers.
Something that is not directly relevant is "beside the point," not "besides the point."
When a particular part of a conversation or argument is not directly relevant to the main point of that conversation or argument, but is tangentially related, it is said to be "beside the point"--that is, not directly on point. "Besides the point" is incorrect usage; "besides" means "except" or "in addition to," so it seems likely that this confusion may have arisen from the idea that the expression means "that is in addition to the point," which is not correct.
"Bald-faced liar" and "bold-faced liar" are both correct, but mean different things.
I'm often asked which is the correct expression, "He was a bald-faced liar" or "She was a bold-faced liar." Both expressions are correct; "bald-faced liar" is a modern expression, and "bold-faced liar" dates back to the 1500s.
A "bald-faced liar" is a person who tells simple, obvious lies. "Bald" in this context means "unadorned" or "obvious," rather than "hairless." A "bold-faced liar" is a person who lies in a strong, confident, self-certain way; the expression "bold-faced" literally means "in a bold manner."
There is a third variant as well, which is not often used: "bare-faced liar." It means something slightly different as well; according to Merriam-Webster, "bare-faced" is an idiom meaning "without scruples." A "bare-faced liar" is an unethical or unscrupulous liar.
"Disinterested" and "uninterested" do not mean the same thing!
The word "disinterested" means "impartial." A judge in a courtroom should be disinterested in the outcome; that is, the judge should not have any vested interest one way or the other, and he should be impartial to the issue being determined.
"Uninterested" means "not interested in;" for example, "Bob is uninterested in football" means Bob does not care about football. A courtroom judge is (or should be) disinterested, but he is not uninterested!
"Disorganized" and "unorganized" do not mean the same thing!
The word "unorganized" simply means "not organized." A cluttered desk may be unorganized, yet the person who works at it might still be able to find everything on it. "Disorganized" means "not organized" with connotations of dysfunction; it's used to describe something that is not only unorganized, but unorganized in a way that makes work difficult or makes finding things impossible.
"Altogether" and "all together" do not mean the same thing!
"All together" means "all in one group," as in "let's keep the socks all together." On the other hand, "altogether" means "completely," as in "His speech was altogether full of hot air."
"Farther" and "further" do not mean the same thing!
"Farther" is used when you are talking about distance: "San Francisco is farther from Tampa than Atlanta is." "Further" is used when you're speaking of abstract ideas or talking metaphorically; "San Francisco goes further to deal with urban sprawl than Atlanta does."
"Less" and "fewer" do not mean the same thing!
"Less" is used in situations where you're talking about something that's not discrete or easily quantified: "This car uses less gas than my old car." "Fewer," on the other hand, is used in situations where you are talking about a countable quantity of discrete objects: "The express lane is only for people with eight items or fewer," "fewer people voted for John than for Jake." The signs you see in supermarkets reading "Express Lane: Eight items or less?" Wrong.
It's "for all intents and purposes," not "for all intensive purposes."
"For all intents and purposes" means "for all practical purposes." Many people erroneously write "for all intensive purposes," which would, presumably, mean for purposes that are not casual, or perhaps for purposes that are trivial--near to the opposite of the phrase's intent.
When the details of a plan or idea are filled in, the plan or idea has been "fleshed out," not "flushed out."
One talks metaphorically of taking an idea that is sketchy--in other words, the skeleton of an idea--and "fleshing it out," or completing it. I'm not quite sure how one would "flush out" an idea, but the process doesn't sound very sanitary...
It's "embedded," not "imbedded."
"Embedded" means "set within" or "enclosed." If you put a bottle cap in wet cement, when it hardens, the bottle cap becomes embedded in the cement. An embedded computer is a computer set in something else, like a microwave oven or a cell phone.
It's "pronunciation," not "pronounciation."
A reader of this site pointed out to me that this is an error I'd made myself--right here on this very page! "Pronounciation" is not actually a word at all; the way a word is pronounced is its "pronunciation."
Interestingly, a Google search for "pronounciation," which is the error, turns up over a million hits, whereas a search for the correct "pronunciation" turns up about 41 million hits, which suggests that at least one in 41 people makes this mistake.
It's "shudder to think," not "shutter to think."
To "shudder" is to tremble, as from fright; "shudder to think" means "the thought of that is so frightening (or disturbing or whatever) that the very thought of it is enough to make me shudder."
It's "bear with me," not "bare with me."
To "bear" something means to carry it, as in "to bear arms," or to toil with as a burden; "I can't bear this heavy backpack," or, more figuratively, "I can't bear this pain." "Bear with me" means "carry along with me;" "bare with me" means "get naked with me."
It's "should have," not "should of."
"Have" is a verb; "of" is a preposition. "I should have gone" or "I would have gone if I had the money" are correct. "I should of gone" or "I would of gone" are incorrect; the word "gone" is not part of a prepositional phrase.
Something you make is your "handiwork," not your "handywork."
The word "handiwork" comes from the Middle English handiwerk, which in turn derives from the Old English hand gework, literally, "the work produced by the hands." It's the result of your skill or labor: "this model train set is my handiwork." A person skilled with his hands, especially at odd jobs, is said to be "handy," and a person who does a number of odd jobs is sometimes called a "handyman," which is probably how the confusion regarding "handiwork" and "handywork" got started. A handyman produces handiwork, not handywork.
It's "death knell," not "death nail."
The word "knell" is an archaic term meaning "to sound in an ominous manner, as the ringing of a bell to indicate a death or disaster." A "death knell" is literally the sound of a funeral bell.
It's "A lot," never "alot."
"A lot" is two words, as in "We have a lot of food in the kitchen" or "Florida is being hammered by a lot of hurricanes this season." It means "A large quantity." You would never say "abunch;" it's two words--"a bunch." Same thing. And "allot" means something else entirely; "allot" is a verb, meaning "to assign" or "to distribute," as in "Bob will allot one donut and one cup of coffee to each attendee."
It's a "moot point," not a "mute point."
Something is "moot" if it is debatable or of undecided value; if you don't live in Florida, then the fact that Florida residents get discounted Disney World tickets is moot to you. "Mute" means "unable to make a sound."
It's "hear hear," not "here here."
"Hear hear" means something like the more contemporary vernacular "I hear you;" it indicates agreement and assent. "Here here" means "not over there there," and that's just kind of silly.
It's "Lo and behold," not "low and behold."
The word "lo!" is a Middle English expression of surprise. "Lo and behold" is kind of the equivalent of saying "Well, hey, look at that!"
It's "Nothing fazes me," not "nothing phases me."
To "faze" is to disturb or frighten. "She was unfazed" means "she retained her composure." "He was unphased" means "he was not made of a number of waveforms that were in synchronization." Big difference, folks.
"I couldn't care less," not "I could care less."
"I could care less" means "I do care." It would be possible for me to care less, because I already care. If I do not care at all--if the amount I care about something is zero--then it would be impossible for me to care any less, because I can't care about something less than a zero amount...I couldn't care less.
It's "etc," not "ect."
"Etc" is an abbreviation for "et cetera" (two words), which is Latin for "and so forth." "Et" means "and," which is why "etc" is sometimes written "&c". "Etc" is correct. "&c" is correct but archaic. "Ect" is not, never has been, and never will be correct.
The abbreviations "ie" and "eg" do not mean the same thing!
You use "ie" when you mean "in other words" or "that is to say." It's Latin for "id est," which means "that is." For example: "He is a businessman; ie, he makes his money by operating a business." On the other hand, "eg" is used to mean "for example." It's Latin for "exempli gratia." "I do not like spectator sports--eg, football and baseball." Most properly, they are written "i.e." and "e.g.," though "ie" and "eg" are becoming more common.
For example: eg. In other words: ie.
"Insure" and "ensure" do not mean the same thing either!
"Ensure" means "to make sure of." Double-check your math on your tax return to ensure you don't get an embarrassing phone call from the IRS. "Insure," on the other hand, means "to provide insurance for," you insure your house in order to ensure that you won't be financially ruined if it burns down.
To be caught "between the devil and the deep blue sea" does not mean "between two unattractive options."
It means "to be in a position where you have no room to maneuver." There are two theories about the origin of this expression. The first is the idea that the 'devil' on a wooden sailing ship was a term for the main spar of the ship--a brace that runs the whole length of the ship from front to back, around which the frame of the ship is built. There is a very narrow space--typically less than 3' high--between a ship's devil and the bottom of the hull; this was sometimes the space where the most lowly members of a ship's crew slept, quite literally "between the devil and the deep blue sea." It's a very, very tiny space. The other is that the seams on a wooden ship near the waterline were often referred to as the "devil," and that sealing these seams to keep them watertight involved a sailor being lowered over the side of the ship on a rope, with a bucket of sealing pitch; such a sailor was dangling precariously "between the devil and the deep blue sea." (I've seen one Web page which claims that the expression predates the days of wooden sailing ships, but I haven't seen any documented usage of the term that dates back that far.)
"You have piqued my interest," not "you have peaked my interest" or "you have peeked my interest."
The word "pique" (pronounced like "peek") means "to excite or arouse." "You have piqued my interest" means "you have aroused my interest"--that is, I wasn't interested before, but now I am.
A group is a "clique," not a "click"
"Clique" is pronounced like "click." However, the meaning is completely different. "Clique" was originally a French word; hence the weird spelling.
Something that's stylish is "chic," not "sheik"
"Chic" is another confusing French import. It's pronounced like "sheik" but means "elegant, stylish, or sophisticated."
It's "whet my appetite," not "wet my appetite."
"Whet" means "sharpen." A tool that sharpens a knife is called a "whetstone." To "whet" one's appetite means to sharpen one's appetite--"That appetizer really whetted my appetite!" To "wet" one's appetite means to make it soggy.

Usage that's changing
No language ever stands still. The English language is a dynamic, living thing, and that means rules of grammar can and do change over time. Words become archaic; rules of grammar change; even spelling and usage change over time.
There are many areas where English is in transition right now. A few of them are outlined below.
"Nauseated" and "nauseous."
Originally, "nauseated" meant "sick to your stomach;" if the smell of tuna fish turns your stomach, you can say that tuna makes you nauseated. "Nauseous" meant "causing nausea in others." If you are "nauseous," that means you make other people sick. However, these two terms are used interchangeably so often that some references are now beginning to list "nauseated" as a synonym for "nauseous."
"All right" is generally more acceptable than "alright."
"All right" means "okay." Literally, "all is right." It's not one word. This rule is beginning to bend, though; the newest Oxford English Dictionary lists "alright." I get a lot of email, pro and con, on the acceptability of "alright," which is further confused by the fact that some dictionaries and books on English usage still condemn it, while others have begun to accept it.
"Judgment" is generally more acceptable than "judgement."
Traditionally, one who judges another is said to pass judgment. Increasingly, more and more reference texts are listing "judgement" as an acceptable variant to "judgment," though not everyone finds "judgement" acceptable.
I personally prefer "judgement," as I think it's more logically consistent. Other words ending in the letter "e" keep that "e" when adding a -ment suffix (as in "atonement," for example); and the word derives most immediately from the Middle English jugement, so keeping the "e" seems reasonable to me.
"Sneaked," not "snuck," is generally the preferred past tense of "sneak."
In formal or professional writing, it's generally considered more proper to say "the burglar sneaked into the room" than "the burglar snuck into the room." However, this rule is also beginning to bend; my dictionary considers "snuck" an acceptable, but less preferred, past tense form of "sneak."
To me, "snuck" sounds clumsy. While I'll grudgingly accede to the fact that it's a very common usage, that doesn't mean I have to like it!
"Interface" is properly a noun, not a verb.
An interface is a place where two different things come together or interact with each other. A physicist might talk about how light diffracts at an air-water interface, meaning the point where the air meets the water; a computer technician might speak of an interface where a printer is connected to a computer; a computer programmer might speak of the interface that a program presents for interaction with a person.
The first time I heard the word "interface" used as a verb (as in "Let's see if we can get this database server to interface with this client"), I cringed. Then I heard the word "interface" used to refer to interactions between people (as in "Let's see if we can have our sales reps interface with the design department on that issue"). Ugh!
This usage is becoming common enough now that some dictionaries have begun listing "interface" as a verb.
Indeed, modern English in popular usage seems to be moving more and more in the direction of blurring the line between nouns and verbs; I saw a bumper sticker a while ago reading "Stop Noun Verbification: Don't Verb Your Nouns."
Commas in lists
In the past, a list of words or phrases separated by commas would include a comma after each word or phrase in the list: "I like apples, peaches, pears, and bananas." Today, it is beincoming increasingly common to omit the comma before the second to last word in the list, and indeed this is the preferred usage according to some style manuals: "I like apples, peaches, pears and bananas."
However, this new usage creates potential ambiguities. As a friend of mine recently pointed out, in a sentence such as "I am an expert at hardware design, software and firmware validation, analysis and reverse engineering of products, and user interfaces," that final comma is essential to making the sentence comprehensible. Under the newer preferred usage, the sentence would read "I am an expert at hardware design, software and firmware validation, analysis and reverse engineering of products and user interfaces." Without the comma, it seems as though "analysis and reverse engineering of products and user interfaces" means "analysis and reverse engineering of products" and "analysis and reverse engineering of user interfaces"--that is, it is not clear that "analysis and reverse engineering" applies only to "products" and does not modify both "products" and "user interfaces."

"Data" and "datum," "phenomena" and "phenomenon," ...
English has a long history of borrowing words from other languages--many of which don't follow standard English rules for pluralization. As a result, there are many English words which are normally plural, but don't look plural because they don't end in the letter S. A partial list:
| Singular |
Plural |
| Datum |
Data |
| Phenomenon |
Phenomena |
| Stimulus |
Stimuli |
| Criterion |
Criteria |
| Die |
Dice |
| Graffito |
Graffiti |
| Medium |
Media |
| Stratum |
Strata |
| Nucleus |
Nuclei |
| Crisis |
Crises |
So for example, you would never properly say "The data shows I'm right" (the correct form is "The data show I'm right"), and you would never properly say "The media is becoming increasingly right-wing" (but rather "The media are becoming increasingly right-wing"). "Media" in this sense means "all the media used to distribute information--eg, newspapers, television, and radio."

Debris is the only English noun with no plural. There are many English words for which the singular and the plural are the same, but in English, you can not speak of a single piece of debris with a singular form of the word. That is, you would say "Space debris are becoming a menace to satellites," but not "Space debris is becoming a menace."
We often speak of being overwhelmed, or talk of how something might overwhelm a computer, but we rarely use whelm as a verb. Yet in the strictest sense, "to whelm" means "to overcome" (particularly with an emotion); it is therefore perfectly proper to say something like "I was whelmed with grief," which means the same thing as saying "I was overwhelmed with grief."
Both fish and fishes are accepted plurals of the word "fish," but the rules differ as to which one is appropriate in diferent contexts. Generally speaking, if you are talking about any number of dead fish, or any number of live fish of the same species, you use "fish," as in The boat came back to port with a hold full of fish. However, if you are talking about live fish of different species, you can use "fishes," as in Salt-water fishes include several species of sharks, eels, and salmon.
An alumnus is a male graduate of a school; a female graduate is an alumna. When you're talking about a group of graduates, you use alumni if all the graduates are male or if there's a mix of male and female graduates; if all the graduates are female, the proper form is alumnae.
The plural of mouse is mice only if you're talking about rodents. If you're talking about a computer mouse, the accepted plural is mouses.
The Middle English root of "ruthless" is "ruthe," meaning "compassion." It has survived in the Modern English ruthless ("without compassion"), but its opposite, ruthful ("compassionate") is considered archaic and is rarely used.
There are a handful of other modern English words which are typically used only in their negative form as well. For example, the word scathed means "harmed" or "scorched;" we often use unscathed (as in "I made it through Doom 3 unscathed") but rarely use "scathed." Likewise, the word licit means "conforming to law" or "not forbidden;" we often use it in the negative form illicit (as in "an illicit affair" or "an illicit sale") but rarely describe things as "licit."

Believe it or not, not all rules of grammar are good things. Indeed, a rule is useful only when it seeks to enhance and clarify communication; grammar rules which don't serve this purpose are actually worse than useless, as they tend to make a language more rigid and inflexible.
"i" before "e" except after "c"...
...is arguably the least useful "rule" of English grammar, as nearly as many words violate this rule as follow it. The fact, is, "ie" and "ei" constructions simply have to be memorized; there isn't a hard and fast rule to follow.
Many words of German origin are spelled "ei;" in German, "ie" is pronounced as a long "e" and "ei" is pronounced as a long "i". Words which violate this rule also include words with Middle English roots, such as "heir," "heist," "heinous," "weird," and "seize."
Split Infinitives
Of all the rules of English grammar which serve little purpose, the most obvious and least useful is the rule which says "thou shalt not split an infinitive." An infinitive is the "to" form of a verb; "to look," "to go," and so on. A "split infinitive" is a phrase in which some word appears between the "to" and the verb; "to boldly go," for example.
This particular rule was actually invented by one person, Bishop Roberth Lowth. In 1762, he published a book on English grammar, which has exerted an evil influence on English ever since. His reasoning for prohibiting a split infinitive was--get this--it's impossible to split an infinitive in Latin, so it shouldn't be done in English either.
I kid you not. That's the reason you've been told you must never, ever split an infinitive--because it's impossible to do in Latin, and in 1762 some yoyo decided that English really ought to look more like Latin, so anything you can't do in Latin you shouldn't do in English either.
Ending a sentence with a preposition
The rule that one must never end a sentence with a preposition is just as silly as the rule that one must never split an infinitive, and in fact the prohibition against ending sentences with a preposition often forces the speaker to use weird and awkward sentence structures. This point was most nobly illustrated by none other than Winston Churchill, who upon being told he couldn't end a sentence with a preposition, replied "[That] is the sort of bloody nonsense up with which I will not put." That says it all, really.
Never say "ain't"
This rule has more to do with ideas about class and social standing than it does with grammar. "Ain't" has traditionally been seen as a low-class thing to say; the prohibition against its use is based more on an idea that "people who are educated should never use such a low-class word" than it is on any serious rule of grammar or usage. In fact, the word "ain't" as a contraction for "am not" serves admirably where no other word exists; "amn't" is not a recognized English word at all. William Shakespeare used the word "ain't;" that's good enough for me!
Never use a double negative
Bishop Lowth, who gave us the rule against splitting infinitives, also gave us this rule. He believed that double negatives should not be used because they cancel each other out, and in some cases it's true; "I'm not doing nothing" means "I am doing something."
However, the opposite of a negative is not always a positive. "I did not make it through Doom 3 unscathed" is a double negative, yet its meaning is clear, and it's much less awkward than "I made it through Doom 3 scathed," if indeed you can even use "scathed" that way. Again, Shakespeare used the odd double negative, and I am not unimpressed by that. A double negative, used correctly, offers shades of meaning; a double negative does not always mean the same thing as a positive.
Punctuation always belongs inside quotation marks
This is a rule that didn't used to be a big deal, but technology has made it problematic. Technical writing poses special challenges; if you were to see, for example, a written instruction that said:
To change to the proper directory, type "cd .."
it's not clear if you are expected to type "cd ." or "cd .." -- each is a valid Unix command, but they do different things. If one follows the conventional rules of grammar, which say that a period always belongs inside the quotation marks, one runs the risk of creating ambiguities.
It's not just technical writing that creates the problem, though. Even in ordinary writing, this rule can create weird situations:
Did he really say "We will be there soon?"
The entire sentence is a question, but the part inside the quotation marks is not; writing according to the conventional rules of grammar is misleading, because you're counting on the reader to infer that the quotation was a statement, even though it ends in a question mark.
The rule that I'd most humbly like to propose is this: Punctuation belongs inside quotation marks if and only if that punctuation is actually part of the quoted literal; otherwise, it goes outside. (I'm told that this is the way British English is usually written, but don't know for a fact that this is so.) I've recently received an email which says that some public schools here in the US are beginning to teach that punctuation belongs inside the quotation marks if the entire sentence is quoted, but outside the quotation marks if only part of the sentence is a quotation. so perhaps this is beginning to change in American English as well.
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